Tuesday, March 2, 2010

potty training, continued. It still sucks.

Today our babysitter had Sam and Alex all day, since it was Tuesday. We tried to spare her the worst of the potty training by starting on a Wednesday, and last Tuesday the kids were home sick. So today was the first day she had Sam in pants all day. We did put a diaper on over his underwear, a great trick I learned from my friend Tammy. His pants will be wet and yet he won't make a big mess...

Well...he didn't go #1 or #2 all day. Not in the potty, though she took him a few times and tried to coax him. Not in his pants either. As soon as I picked him up at 5, he peed his pants.


Help, help, please give me suggestions. I'm dyin here.


volscats said...

Sarah, I hate this for you. Sadly I cannot give any suggestions as I have never done it. However a friend gave me a book to use that is fairly old - Potty Training in Two days or something like that. I think it is about 60 years old. She trained her first child in literally two days and her second one, a boy, in a couple of weeks. The book may help give some new ideas.

Kimberly said...

So I have 4 kids, right, and I'm not sure there's any good advice. Does that make you feel worse or better? Two questions:

1) Can you rule out a physical problem?

2) Given his personality, is it likely that Sam is using potty training as a control issue?

If this is a control issue (and it seems likely that it is), I can share two things you should never do based on my own experience:

1) Do NOT go back to diapers or use pull-ups (I know that sucks, but it just prolongs the agony).

2) Do NOT tell him when to pee or poop.

Eg: You're leaving home to go to the grocery store and don't want Sam to pee at the store; so you try to prevent an accident (ie, control the situation) by telling him to go pee in the potty before you leave. If he's strong willed, he will resist being told when and where, and you will have a long battle on your hands. It's better to suck it up and deal with cleaning up an accident than to get in a battle of wills over when and where he should pee. He gets to control where and when which is empowering for him, and he eventually chooses on his own that a potty is the best place. I know it's hard to deal with constant accidents, but it truly will get better, sometimes very quickly. You just can't engage him in any battle whatsoever. Incentives & rewards are good. Try to keep it all positive (even though you're going insane inside).

Hunca Munca said...

Kim - thanks so much for your kind words...I think you said exactly what I needed to hear. I am guilty of trying to control when & where to prevent accidents, so that is a good thing for me to work on. We've been seeing progress. Hooray!