This is the first Mother's Day since 2003 that I haven't been in the process of "waiting" for a child. There is such a deep inner joy that comes with having some of your life wishes fulfilled. It's not that all of life is perfect now, but in this motherhood arena at least I am feeling full and happy.
I am also mindful of the fact that, due to the nature of adoption, my happiness had to come at the expense of someone else's. Now the tables are turned - it is the birth moms of my kids who are "mothers without a child" on mother's day. I wish I knew if they ever go back to the agency and check out the file on their babies. Do they look at the pictures? Read the letters? Or is it just too painful?
Another mom posted this on a website I frequent. Once I thought these kinds of things were sappy. Now they make me cry. :-)
Legacy of an Adopted Child
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears,
the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.
© Author Unknown
Wishing for healing and comfort for all mothers who are grieving lost children. And to the birth moms of my kids: you are in my heart forever.