just stuff

Here's what's been going on...

Sam likes to sleep on the floor of his room, against the door. With his blanket around his head like a turban. He has decided his favorite binky is the one that says "Mute Button."

Alex ran too close to her trundle bed and bumped her shin on the iron frame - painful! I was telling her it's hard to see that frame because of the mattress and if we're not careful, we could stub our toes. She said, "Yeah, and if you were crawling you would stub your face!" :-)

We enjoyed a nice visit from my mom last week. She and I played one game of Scrabble and it was a close race. I was losing most of the time but I totally lucked out at the end with a 47-point word and won by 3 points. I should credit my mom for letting me use the dictionary, which isn't allowed in real Scrabble. Anyway, it was fun.

We had our first snow of the year on October 12. Today it was back in the 60's and beautiful.

ha ha ha, I got her!

Last night I finally figured out how to get Alex back for her naughty screaming fits in the car. For about the last year she has discovered that she can get away with a lot of bad attitude and very disrespectful behavior while safely strapped in her car seat with me in the front. I've been frustrated because threatening her with a time out just doesn't seem to cut it - she will go on with her screaming, tantrums, whining, demands, and general obnoxiousness no matter how much time out she endures on arriving home.

Last night in the midst of her tirade she even yelled, "You're going to DIE." What the...? I ignored that but it was a scary thing to hear from your four-year-old. Maybe she's been watching too many Disney movies - ever notice there is never an intact "nuclear family" in a Disney movie? The main character is usually deprived of at least one parent at some point. Anyway...

I read a strategy in a parenting book once that suggested dropping your kids off a mile before home and making them walk the rest of the way. That will be beautiful once they are older, but as much as I would like some peace and quiet in the car, I just can't do it at this point. I am saving it though...

So last night, while enduring another ridiculous four-year-old rant, I rolled down the windows and that made her mad. She doesn't like the wind. She screamed and complained of being cold (it was probably 70 degrees out). I told her when she could talk to me nicely I would roll the windows up. She kept demanding (very imperially) for me to close the windows, alternating with more screaming and crying. This sounds really BAD, but up front I was smiling at FINALLY getting some payback for all the tantrums I've endured in the car! We were home before she changed her tune (and even that was only after a double time out in the car seat in the dark garage).

Speaking of time out, I've had to get creative with that too. She will spit on the floor or kick the doors or walls when she's in time out - not something I feel I should tolerate. When she does this I put her outside on the front porch - she's strapped into the high chair (good thing she's still small). Usually this calms her right down. It will be interesting to see what happens in the winter.

I feel really mean sometimes. It seems like she really needs to push to the point where she breaks down, and then she takes a long time to recover her equilibrium. Last night, for example, she went from full defiance mode in the car (first four minutes) to hysterical panic after another four minutes. (Being alone in the dark garage probably was scary.) I'm open to suggestions.

But for now, I am happy to found a trick to get to her in the car. I think it will help, especially as the weather gets cooler!

wasting elevens

We were sitting around the table eating lunch. Alex was counting (for some reason) and every time she said a number, Sam said the number too. Alex said, "I don't want Sam to count." I asked why. "Because then he would be wasting elevens!"

Elevens. A terrible thing to waste. :-)

first day of school

We signed Alex up for a preschool program at the Catholic church near us. Yesterday was her first day. She's been talking about preschool for months, telling us all that she plans to learn (especially learning to whistle). As we were getting ready to go she told Bryan, "I'm so excited to go to preschool!" The first day is made much less intimidating by having the parents stay the whole time. She knew I would be with her and we didn't have Sam to divert my attention away from her. Still, when the moment came and we were getting out of the car, she became pretty apprehensive. "My stomach hurts," she said. "I think I want to go home."

Flashback to last year, when she developed a stomachache in the car on the way to her first day of preschool (at a different location). I was suspicious that the stomachache was due to nerves, but decided to stay and see how she did. Good thing, because although she ran in and seemed to be having fun immediately, even flirting with a nice boy, she suddenly stopped and complained that her stomach hurt again. It seemed real enough and although I was disappointed to have her first day end that way, I took her out. I had planned to have lunch with a friend so she came along, but we no sooner sat down than she vomited right at the table. :-( Afterwards she seemed fine. I guess I'll never know whether that was nerves or a virus. She definitely complains of stomachaches when things are stressful, so I think she is just susceptible to stress and that is how it affects her. Poor thing.

So yesterday, when she developed the instant stomachache at the sight of the preschool building, I wasn't sure what to think. Do I give off any "vibes" that make her more nervous? I didn't think I did, but I'm sure both of us have our subconscious anxiety about the start of a new school year. She wanted me to carry her rather than walk by herself, something that is becoming rarer now, but I obliged. We checked out the bathrooms and then joined the class, where she clung to me for a couple minutes until she saw the play-dough. There was no more mention of tummy-aches the rest of the morning, and though she didn't interact much with the other kids, at least she seemed happily absorbed. I noticed she is becoming conscious that there is a "right" way to color (inside the lines) - a notion that had not seemed to cross her mind last year. She watched the other kids and started to color in a small, tentative way, then stopped and asked me, "Am I doing it right?" Part of my heart breaks for her, seeing this awareness creeping in - the awareness of social environments, expectations, and fear of public humiliation or judgment based on performance. I fear the premature squelching of my free-spirited child. But there is a positive side to it too: without this awareness of others and one's social interactions, how could anyone do well in school, or develop compassion, or succeed in sports or academics or life?

All in all, the hour passed quickly. It ended with story time, some kids sitting on the rug in a circle, some (Alex included) on their mom's or dad's laps. She seemed not to be paying particular attention to the story, and I thought it was a bit slow-paced, but later she was able to tell me what it was about with reasonable detail. In retrospect, I would say the first day was a success. Especially compared to last year - no vomiting - yay! :-) It is quite something to think of the years and years of school ahead of her. Today was one small step forward into what will become a significant part of her life.

end of august update

The last half of August brings happy celebrations for us. Alex turned 4 on the 19th and Sam's arrival day is the 24th. Alex chose a cake with rubber-bug finger puppets on it, and got some cool presents related to her latest interest in bugs - a ladybug game, a plastic "Venus fly trap" that catches bugs into a clear cylinder for viewing, a "bug loupe" to magnify them, and 5 live caterpillars that will soon be turning into butterflies. To balance things out, she also got some new princess attire and a fairy princess doll with black hair and a matching dress. I guess she can be the queen of bugs.

We had her party at Wheeler Farm, and it turned out great. Bryan's remote-control airplane was a big hit, despite a brief stay on the pavilion's roof. (We got it down just fine.) The kids enjoyed making fruit loop necklaces (easy party activity - just bring floss and fruit loops!) and we attempted some games, but with 1-4 year olds the games were pretty chaotic. We played Follow the Leader, Hot Potato, and chased balloons which were blown around by the wind. We lit the candles, sang happy birthday, and Alex was all ready to blow out the candles when she got some "help" from her friends - at which point she cried - ironic because SHE was the one who blew out Ava's candles at Ava's party. Poetic justice was served, but she didn't appreciate it. She cried all the way through the second candle-lighting-and-singing, but recovered in time to blow out her own candles and was soon engrossed in cake and presents. Once again I felt so thankful and lucky to have Alex, and said a special prayer (in my heart) for her birth mother. I wonder what she thinks about on this day.

Alex's party day was also Sam's arrival day. How he has grown. He decided to mark his accomplishment by finally climbing out of his crib. He climbed out twice the other day, though I didn't see him do it. He appeared this morning in the kitchen before 7 a.m., sleepy and clinging to his blanket. Ah, the glory days of confining him safely to his bed are over...and at only 2 years and 4 months. Alex was well over 3 before she ever thought of climbing out. We are debating between keeping him in his crib a while longer, versus just putting a mattress on the floor. Either way, we have a Sam on the loose so we will have to be on our guard. :-)

And that's the update. One of the pictures may need explanation. It shows Alex being an owl, showing how she can turn her head around backwards. :-)

feeling lazy

It's summer and I'm feeling lazy. So lazy I haven't even blogged for the past few weeks. I've also been choosing sleep over workouts - frustrating, as I love the way I feel when I get my workouts in, and I know I should be getting up early to take advantage of these beautiful early summer mornings - but some part of me must be unconsciously yearning for those carefree summer days of childhood...no school, no obligations, nothing I HAD to do. Not to mention the Olympics are sucking up a lot of my time. Those opening ceremonies were sure impressive, weren't they? I watched the synchronized diving last night - I don't remember ever seeing that before, but it was sure beautiful. We're having fun rooting for Korea and the US.

But just because I'm feeling lazy doesn't mean I'm actually sitting around doing nothing. Ah, that would be nice, but my life doesn't really enable that anymore. This weekend I've enjoyed some quality time with Ava and Lena while Cameo worked, which is fun and busy. Alex and Ava are playing SO well these days - it is so GREAT after the past couple years of 2- and 3-year old competition and fighting! Lena is getting more capable of holding her own against Sam, though he is still the primary aggressor, but it is hard to stay mad at him because he's so darn cheerful even when he's misbehaving and getting time out. He actually kisses me when I put him in the time out chair and loves to buckle himself in. Very talented at using his charm. His latest trick is opening the refrigerator and helping himself to whatever he wants. He can't reach much above the veggie drawer, but he enjoys his stolen mouthfuls of lettuce and green onions. When he sees me coming he runs away chewing joyously. I wouldn't mind it so much if he didn't leave the refrigerator door open...or pieces of chewed greenery lying about...

In closing, I have to give an honorable mention to my latest audiobook, which I'm only about 1/3 of the way through: The Life of Pi by Yann Martel. A good summer read, well told, lots of adventure mixed with food for thought about God/religion and interesting facts about various animals. Definitely unique!

cookbook battle

How funny - right after I posted that debate I was having about which cookbook was better - here is a New York Times article reporting that the author of one of the books is suing the other for copyright infringement!

I don't know enough about the case to comment on whether it's legitimate - but unless the content is expressly the same, I wouldn't think the lawsuit will be successful. Could the writer of one vegetarian cookbook sue another writer of a vegetarian cookbook, just for stealing the idea?

Anyway, I'm thinking I probably won't buy either book at the moment - at this point, my kids seem to be doing fine eating their fruits and veggies, especially with a little butter or sugar on them. :-)