electronics deaths, new shoes and my new inner domestic goddess

Electronics deaths - slowly the entropy is taking over the electronics equipment in our home. We have been watching the old computer monitor slowly fizzle away, the printer/fax/scanner is crotchety, and our video camera (2 years old) has been getting more and more obstreperous until finally last night it refused to finalize the disk or do anything at all - resulting in the loss of our precious Christmas 2007 videos, with the kids discovering the train table and everything. Sigh. Sam broke our CD player a couple months ago, too. Suddenly I'm looking at the cost of replacing all this stuff - and hoping we can find some good deals.

On the bright side, it looks like we are going to get Dish network, a DVR and a new HDTV. I'm looking forward to watching only the programs I want, when I want, with no commercials. Oh yeah - probably will want an HD-DVD player along with the list above. Ouch! If anyone sees any good deals on electronics stuff - let me know, we seem to need one of everything. Maybe we will get a tax refund and I will go crazy at Circuit City. That's as good a plan as any.

New shoes - I got new walking shoes this weekend and I think they are cool. I'll post a picture. Sometimes retail therapy really does work. :-)

My new inner domestic goddess is coming out. I never knew she was there. It must be all this cold weather with nothing to do outside. I have made my bed every day for over a week now. That's more than I've made it in my entire life, I think. I've also planned menus and cooked real food for the past month - another thing I have never, ever done. I've also done a fair amount of decluttering, and dusted for the first time in about a year (I'm not kidding) and the place is looking decent. I even bought a feather duster on a long pole, which inspired Bryan to go around de-cobwebbing all over the house. Cool!!! The kids have also enjoyed "dusting" the baseboards and each other with it. Anyway, I'm enjoying the inner goddess and hope she will stay for a while.

Justice is served in the VA parking lot

Have I really not blogged since Dec 17? Wow.

Well, it's been going on for several months and I'm sick of it. Unauthorized people (mostly VA employees, from the looks of their parking permits) have been parking illegally in the designated spaces for myself and my Building 4 compatriots. There are signs clearly stating "OIFO parking ONLY". But even if we arrive before 8 am, often all our spots are taken and we are forced to drive around in circles, park across the street or in the "back 40", and then walk through the snow and ice.

So today, I parked within inches of a large snowbank because it was the only spot I could find. I walked into my office with one wet and cold leg and, disgusted, called the VA Police and complained. Previous complaints were made to a different office and were never acted on.

So today - After months of futile protests to the deaf bureaucracy - I look outside and YES! There are tickets on the windshields of the 5 cars next to mine. Victory dance!

It's funny how much this has made my day. I have never been one to gloat excessively over others' misfortune - but seeing the parking vandals get ticketed gave me a whole new taste of Schadenfreude.

Christmas Preview

We opened gifts at our house this Saturday because we're going out of town this week. Bryan and I were up until 1:30 a.m. assembling the new train table. As we were finishing, Bryan said, "Now I know why my parents were always so tired on Christmas." Yes, we are just now figuring this out. I anticipate many sleep-deprived Christmas days for years to come, until the kids are old enough to request gifts that do not need complicated assembly. Of course, by then we will probably be waiting up for them to come home...

The late night effort was SO worth it though! I held the kids at bay until Bryan had the video camera ready. They walked in, saw the train table and raced straight for it without a word. Alex soon discovered stockings, candy, and presents, though Sam remained happily in Train Heaven for most of the morning.

Alex and I had been talking a lot about the song, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" which she has requested as her bedtime song for the past few weeks. I also explained to her that good kids get presents, toys, and candy - while "bad" kids get coal, which is like rocks and isn't much fun. When she saw the presents she said, "I was GOOD!" and "I did not pout!" and "I did not get rocks!"

Sam's fun was interrupted by a much needed bath, to his dismay. He did get to keep his Tootsie Pop in the bathtub though, which was a good receptacle for the copious amounts of green drool.

I am loving Christmas with a 1- and 3-year old! It is so easy to make them happy. And fun to see the innocent, surprised happy expressions. I'm glad we get to do it again in another week or so.

"Just" adopt

I really enjoyed this article by Sarah Kelly. It's about the well-intended phrase tossed out by so many people who don't know what else to say when confronted with infertility - "You can always just adopt."

https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1380

Not sure if the link above will work - and don't want to violate any copyright laws but here are some excerpts -

"Which is why you cannot tell someone to “just adopt.” As if there were anything “just” about it. It’s not like, “Hmm, what should I do today? Oh, I know! I’d love to fill out 500 government forms! I’ll just do that today! And then I’ll just schedule multiple visits with social workers, request letters of reference, declarations of good health, a complete financial inventory—I’ll lay bare every aspect of my life that can be summarized on paper. And then I’ll just have everything notarized. In triplicate.”

The complicated process aside, before making a new map for your life and choosing to adopt, you need to go as far as you feel comfortable going with treatment, mourn not being pregnant, and say goodbye to the future you assumed you’d have.

I liked the last paragraph too:

After everything my husband and I went through in our quest for the “miracle of life,” I know now what the real miracle is. Through everything—through miles and oceans and air and time and loss and grief and healing and acceptance and love—we found a way to our son and he found his way to us.

Kudos to you, Sarah Kelly - lots of heads are nodding in agreement and appreciation for what you put into words.

bizarre, and sad

So, I'm in my office working away and the sound of a helicopter circling barely registers, but keeps intruding on my consciousness. Eventually a co-worker sends out an e-mail: there's a news helicopter and the Credit Union (across the street, visible from my office window) is surrounded by fire trucks and security. What's up?

Turns out a construction worker was buried in 8 feet of dirt when a trench collapsed on him. Heavy equipment was brought in to rescue him but they were unable to reach him. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=2311443

I can hear the news helicopter again, sitting here at my desk on a sunny cold December day. A day just like any other day - for us - but for one man, his last day. May he rest in peace.

little faces haunting me

In the midst of the Christmas season, with all the shopping and the lights and the cheery music, I am haunted today by two images which have reached around the world to me. It would be easy to forget them, and in prior years I probably would have been able to, at least with more ease than I can now. The needs of the world are overwhelming, and it becomes too hard to think about them all the time. But this year, these two images are lingering in my mind.

The first is a picture of several children at an orphanage in South Korea. The picture was taken recently by an adult Korean adoptee who writes for the NY Times Relative Choices blog (http://relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/27/south-korea-and-its-children/). She was adopted at age 3 and grew up in the US. Seeing these kids, she wrote, "Looking at those children I could not help but think: I got out."

As great as it is that we were able to adopt Alex and Sam, in slightly different circumstances they could easily have ended up exactly where these children are. They could be the kids in that picture.

The second image is a black and white photo of a baby in a North Korean orphanage, sent to us by Holt International. They have been supporting orphans in North Korea for about 5 years, but this year, due to flooding on top of famine, hundreds of children are starving - and dying in terrible numbers. There is no heat in the orphanages; children are huddling together for warmth. Milk is so scarce that staff workers are grinding rice and grain into powder for "formula." After recently reading about the conditions in post-war South Korea in the 1950s, it strikes me that after all this time things are just as bad in the North--even worse, because they are cut off from many sources of aid that were available in the South. Once again - if Sam or Alex had been born just a little north of where they were - they could be the ones in these photos. The thought brings tears to my eyes.

There is normally little opportunity to send aid from the US to North Korea, due to government policies and other factors. I hope Holt will collect a lot of donations for its North Korea program (see https://www.holtintl.org/gifts/). As for us - how could we say no?

Thanksgiving, the Good Earth, friends

Wow, I haven't blogged in a month now, since Halloween.

Thanksgiving was great fun this year. We were all reasonably healthy (the kids had runny noses). Cameo and I split up the cooking for Thanksgiving dinner again and it was a true feast. Thank goodness the turkey turned out well - I always feel I don't know what I'm doing when I try to make big meat dishes. I have a new favorite dessert - Bryan's mom's recipe for "Captain Scott H's Key Lime Pie." Yum. The stores here don't carry key lime kool aid, so I used lemon lime and it was OK, but if I ever do find key lime kool aid I'll buy a lot. :-) Cameo's pumpkin gooey cake was very delicious too. We had our friend Jill and Buzz's friend Alison and family and we all played Catch Phrase after dinner. A good game you can play anywhere with any number of people. The kids were playing semi-independently, though at one point I wondered where Sam had gone so I checked. I found Ava pressing down on him in a corner with one of the chair pillows in the toy room. He wasn't complaining, just trying to sit up despite having a pillow and Ava on top of him, and Ava explained something about how she was trying to play with something (translation: trying to keep Sam out of her toys).

It was interesting preparing and eating such a decadent feast while in the midst of reading about the famine in The Good Earth. Several thoughts I've had while reading it...

- Women in this country are very, very lucky to live here and now.
- I thought I worked hard and for little reward in residency - reading about how the people worked themselves to the bone on the land (and still risked starvation) really puts things in perspective!
- Things happen "when the rich are too rich, and the poor are too poor." Reminds me of the line in Les Miserables, "Something's gotta happen now and something's gotta give."
- The protagonist of The Good Earth is a man, but I think Pearl Buck secretly makes the real hero of the story a woman. A plain, silent, selfless, sad woman who no one wanted.
- I cried when I read about Olan's death and Wang Lung's response. I'm pretty sure I liked this book well enough when I first read it in high school (20+ years ago now!?) but I think I appreciate it much more now. How many other books were half wasted on me in high school and college?

Anyway - not much more can be said about a long weekend of feasting and friends and time with my beloved family. I am deeply thankful.